she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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