jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
