wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
