Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
