I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize