We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
