I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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