Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize