My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
