Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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