if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize