another moral hangover. fuck.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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