I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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