Porn is love you can see.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
