ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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