her vagina looked like bernie madoff
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize