Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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