is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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