Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
3 2 1 whiskey
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
