I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
