sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
