We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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