well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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