Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't deserve a penis
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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