you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want a musical about memes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
