Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
