He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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