i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
