I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
