great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
