why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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