Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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