She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
