I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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