Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize