She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize