It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
