i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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