Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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