Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
