So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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