I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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