Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
