can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
