just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
