ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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