guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
