bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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