You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
