I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
