??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
