Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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