I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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