But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
