have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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