I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
