I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
