you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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