and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
