I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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