i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
