i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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