I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize