I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
