Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
