Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
